If your expectations were high going into Luke Bryan’s final ‘Spring Break’ collection, you were setting yourself up for disappointment from the beginning. If your expectations were low, you probably weren’t underwhelmed, but then again, you probably didn’t find the end result very impressive.
Fortunately for me, I was expecting a fairly unimpressive album, and that’s exactly what I got. You know how in a fantasy sports league, how the first couple months you put in a lot of effort, but as the season goes on you start to half-ass it? Yeah, well that’s pretty much how this spring break series has gone for Luke. The first few were passable because he injected personality and enthusiasm into them, while this one feels completely phoned in and as if it was released with no real purpose other than to fill in time between album cycles.
Most of the tracks on this album are interchangeable and unmemorable. “She Get Me High” is as lame as you expected it to be. “Good Lookin’ Girl”… well, the title says it all. “Checkin’ Out”, “Like We Ain’t Ever”, they all sound the exact same. There is not a shred of originality or creativity in any one of these recordings.
As boring as that cluster of indistinguishable recordings, nothing could have prepared anybody for the atrocity that is “Spring Breakdown”. It’s basically a song about how devastated Bryan and his bros are about their run of spring break parties coming to an end. It is beyond pathetic. I genuinely feel sorry for him that this song is being released to the public. This is a 38-year-old man sounding like he’s almost in tears about spring break ending. Let that sink in for a second. What next, is he going to download Snapchat (oh, wait…) It’s actually a shame that it’s such a lyrical monstrosity, because he absolutely sells it (I mean, it’s even more embarrassing that he sells this particular lyric, but in all fairness, he sounds convincing) and it may be the strongest moment sonically on the entire album. But overall, it’s not enough to overcome just how shallow this song is. There’s a big difference between this and a melancholic, nostalgic anthem like “Talladega”.
There are some moments where creativity tries to shine through. “The Sand I Brought to the Beach” tries to be witty, though ultimately fails, while “Night One” shows some resemblance to a story song, but gets weighed down by “hey girl, let’s get away” cliches. The two moments that legitimately warrant repeated listens are “Games” and “Are You Leaving With Him”. The former talks about mind games between a former couple, while the latter is a solid, charming pickup song. Both are held back a bit by somewhat cluttered production, but still are more than deserving of a thumbs up.
So yeah. Download those two, skip the rest. Even the less painful moments aren’t worth seeking out.
Top Tracks: “Games”, “Are You Leaving With Him”
2 out of 5
